I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

I never fully close the shower curtain while showering. Not that I am concerned about Norman from Psycho or anything, but still, I like to be able to see out while showering. This open curtain habit leads to lots of water in the bathroom floor. My husband fusses about the water in the floor, but I say the dogs like to drink it and I wipe it up with the towel before I leave the room- no problem.

Today the water in the floor is a problem.

After getting out of the shower I am standing on the water filled floor putting lotion on my feet- when somehow- I fall flat on my back! Truly, I don’t know how it happened! And it hurts like crazy.

I crawl into the bedroom and lay on the floor trying not to cry. Seriously- I can’t believe I fell in the bathroom. What’s next? Losing my car in the Wal-Mart parking lot? Peeing my pants when I laugh?

After a few minutes I get up, get dressed, and call my husband to tell him he may be right about the water in the floor. For some reason he thinks it is hilarious and keeps saying “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” and recommending I get Life-Alert! Very funny, ha-ha.

I am going to Wal-mart to get a bath-mat. And maybe a flower to tape to the car antennae…

Rich in Quarters

I brought a roll of quarters to work to keep in my desk to use in the vending machines. This abundance of quarters makes me feel unbelievably wealthy. I just came from the student lounge, where I stood in front of the vending machines for probably 10 minutes trying to make a decision. Rich in quarters, the possibilities are endless: diet coke and m&ms….mr. pibb and Doritos…

TMI

I enjoy talking with people and usually learn interesting things from unexpected sources. But sometimes I seem to get caught in odd conversations. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.

Student: I need to see financial aid.

Me: Weren't you just here yesterday?

Student: Yea, but I was struck with explosive diarhea.

Some things you just don't need to know.

What was overheard?

The neighborhood where we spend our weekends is a quite dirt-road neighborhood on the water, where the river meets the lake. The lots are wooded and were sold in 3 to 10 acre tracts, giving the illusion of privacy and seclusion. The key word in the previous sentence is illusion. Anyone who has ever spent time near water knows sound travels.

Mister and I were working on separate projects while carrying on the kind of conversation that you have when you spend a lot of time together. Not real conversation that anyone could follow, more like random movie quotes with a remember when every now and then, and carried on really loud because I was inside pulling out carpet and he was outside leveling the ground for a barn.

About five o’clock we quit for a beer and were sitting outside at the table enjoying the afternoon when we clearly heard a conversation about what to eat for supper. We started trying to figure out where the sound was coming from by the names the speakers were using. The sound was coming from a LONG LONG way off! We looked at one another and started laughing trying to remember what we had been saying that everyone could hear. Had we discussed any corporate takeovers, blown anyone’s alibi, or dissed someone we know?

Our biggest high volume conversation of the day was on my choice of tool for ripping out carpet. Somewhere across the water there was probably an old guy sitting on his porch saying to himself “You know she really should be using a boxcutter. You can cut anything with a boxcutter.”