Fairly Well

I was sitting at the reception desk today when a guy asked me how I was doing as he walked past. I answered “fairly well” to his back. The guy turned around and came back to ask me why fairly?

I had to think about it for a second, cause I really was only feeling fairly well. Finally I told the guy it was because of my hair.

He said “Your hair?”

“Yea, I’m not happy with my hair.” I replied.

So here I was, explaining to a guy I barely knew, how if I am not happy with my hair I can’t be “fine” or even “well.” The best I can manage when I am not happy with my hair is “fairly well” and that every Tuesday I was fairly well.

When I slowed for breath the guy told me bye and left.

Did They Call Me a Cracker?

The college where I work celebrates Administrative Professional’s Day (administrative assistant day?? secretary day??) by giving us a catered lunch, door prizes, and having a guest speaker.

The college weekly newsletter stated that this year’s speaker had written a book about Crackers. Seriously? Are they calling us crackers? Isn’t that obviously no respect for people that they don’t respect?

I am so NOT a cracker. I spent the past weekend indulging in high culture: I had a few margaritas at the Mexican restaurant (stumbled out), picked up a urinal on the side of the road (another story), camped at the hunting club with Mr and his family (no bath for 2 days), and was back at work Monday morning with a ponytail and orange fingernails. Sounds classy to me.

So really, I wasn’t excited about the speaker for Administrative Professional’s Day.

Then Lauretta Hannon took the floor. She spoke about finding inspiration in our flawed lives, about being down on your luck and thanking God for a chance to work, about the compassion that exists in the grittiest hard-core drunks. She wasn’t calling us crackers, she was showing us her life and how to embrace who you are and carry on with hope and dignity.

I may sound as if I am hawking her books, but really, check Lauretta Hannon out at http://www.thecrackerqueen.com/. Her book is inspirational and funny- two good things to be for Administrative Professional’s Day.

Don't Get Caught With Your Pants On The Ground

The Chamber of Commerce toured our campus this morning; meeting the College President, Vice-President, and a member of the Board of Directors.

Seemed like the perfect opportunity to embarrass myself.

Our campus receptionist is on vacation and I am working her desk in our main lobby. Before the tour arrived I went to the ladies to make sure I looked presentable- no lipstick on my teeth or sweater buttoned crooked.

The tour came into the lobby and surrounded my desk while the Prez gave a speech about all the great things done here. When anyone looked at me I made sure to smile and give the impression that everyone here is packed with brains and wants to share our knowledge with the county. As the crowd in suits was leaving our lobby to tour our campus a number of them shook my hand.

The Prez stayed behind and made small talk with me until the crowd was out of site- then he left as well.

Once I had the lobby to myself again I looked down and saw that my pants were unzipped!!! And I had on bright blue panties with glow-in-the-dark stars!!!

I thought I was behaving so professionally, turns out I was acting like a perv...

A Rose By Any Other Name

Working in a college enrollment center I see a lot of different first names. There seems to be no end to the length people will go when naming their baby. I understand expectant parents want their child to have an unusual or unique name, and when a co-worker comes to the lobby and says “Katie” and three young women stand up I see the point of wanting a name that is a little different. Still, I think parents should think things through when naming a person.

“Different” names fall into various categories. There are people named after television shows or characters from TV. There are geographical names, names based on Christianity, and names that appear to be just random words the parents liked to say.

This week I heard a young man named Rockford, like the James Garner character from the late 70s or early 80s. Another student name I saw that came from a “guy show” was Bonanza. That’s right; Bonanza was on his social security card. And representing for the Addams Family: a young woman named Morticia came through our office this week.

Geographical names are fairly common now: Dallas, Austin, and Savannah. Two I heard recently were uncommon enough that I added them to this list. The first one I heard was Czechoslovakia. I wanted to ask if he goes by “the former republic of…” but figured he had heard that before. He did tell me that everyone calls him Czech. The second unusual geographic name I came across recently was Antarctica. I just saw the paperwork so I couldn’t ask if she goes by Ant.

We are used to hearing names based on Christianity. Everyone seems to know a child named Trinity (religion or Matrix?) and Divinity isn’t unusual either (religion or candy?). This week I saw the name Demon. Apparently his parents were going in the opposite direction from the parents of Grace.

Last on the list are random words that parents use as names: Serenity, Truelove, and Jealousy. I understand naming a baby after peaceful feelings and higher aims; what I don’t understand is naming a baby Jealousy. Seriously, the green eyed monster?

Anyway, a name is a name. Claim your own name and think hard before naming someone else.