Elbows

I tried on a dress in front of the mirror and turned every which way to get a look at myself. I was totally surprised by my elbows. This getting older thing has many surprises. I had no idea my elbows were going to look like they do.

I am fine with laugh lines and crow’s feet. I knew they were going to happen. I can deal with a slower metabolism, not happy about it, but I can deal with it. These are things you see happening around you and know are going to happen to you.

But seriously, the elbows? What is up with that?

2 Minutes til Dinner

In an effort to save money, I have been carrying my lunch to work. I have tried every frozen meal for one that the grocery store stocks. I have had some good meals and some bad meals; and have narrowed my choices down to about a dozen that have become staples of my work day diet. I don't have high expectations of gourmet delights from my frozen dinners; I am just looking for something edible to keep me from starving while I shut myself in my office for an hour and concentrate on school work in the middle of the workday.

Being the rule follower that I am I read the directions on how to microwave each dinner and carefully completed each step as described. Lift one corner to vent...microwave 3 minutes...lift plastic, stir, replace plastic...let sit for 1 minute. I have been a slave to those tiny printed directions.

A week or so ago our custodian came by while I was studying the side of the box and said "I find that 2 minutes on high will cook anything." I thought I would give it a try, and I have decided the man is a genius.

I can't believe how much of my life I have wasted waiting on the microwave.

Jack O'Lantern

This past summer Mister and I were riding down the road when we passed a yard sale. The largest plastic jack o’lantern I had ever seen was sitting on a table. I yelled “Turn around, turn around! I saw a blow mold!” Laughing, Mister made the first legal U-turn and pulled up to the yard sale.

This was one of those yard sales that people dream about. Lots of good junk spread out under the trees. Dog houses, lawn mowers, furniture, salon equipment, baskets, and a large supply of Halloween decorations. It was the jack-pot of yard sales. We spent a little over $20 and bought so much stuff we had to go home and get the truck.

The best buy that came from the yard sale was the giant jack o’lantern. I have shown him to everyone who has been to the house since we brought him home, and mentioned giant jack to many more. If I could have thought of a creative way to use a giant plug-in pumpkin in my 4th of July decorations I would have.

Finally, time to bring giant jack out into the open. There is something about colored lights and over the top decorations that thrills my soul.

Happy Halloween!

Homecoming Decroations

The college where I work is holding their first ever Homecoming.

The staff is working like crazy to get the place looking festive and collegiate. We have hung 45 records and a disco ball from the ceiling of the lobby, built a large display of gold mums in the courtyard, and bought every toy related to our theme that the dollar store carries.

Looking around at our decorations I don’t think that any of us that work here would fit in one of those “only white lights at Christmas” kind of neighborhoods.

The campus is brazenly beautiful.

Swimwear

This past Spring I bought a skirted bathing suit. A really cute skirted swimsuit, with shirring on the sides of the top that could be let down to just cover the bottoms. Not an old lady suit (I told myself), but definitely with more coverage than I usually wear. I am older, I weigh a little more than I used to, and I thought it was time to change my style of swimwear.

All summer I continued to wear my one-piece suits from previous years. I told myself it was because we were just at the lake; no one really cares what a person wears there. I told myself that I continued wearing my old suits because I didn’t want to get picks in the seat of my new suit from sitting on the dock.

We recently went to the beach and I packed my new (still unworn) skirted swimsuit. Mister had not even seen it. For some reason I was really embarrassed for him to see me in the skirted swimsuit. At the last minute I opened my suitcase and stuffed in one of my old swimsuits.

Navarre Beach was beautiful. Serene and with no crowds, it was just what we were looking for in a beach. I went up to the room to change into my swimsuit, and couldn’t put on the skirted suit. Seriously, I was having the kind of anxiety women get over being seen in public in a bikini. Turns out I am much more comfortable with my body than with covering my body.

Thirty years from now if you see an old fat lady at the beach wearing an inappropriately young swimsuit, just wave and tell me hello.

Fashion Advice

Our office is having Mix and Match day. The idea is to wear clothes that don’t match. For example: a blue winter shirt, linen pants, and sneakers.

I am going with all plaid. I put on a plaid shirt, plaid jacket, plaid scarf, plaid trousers, and to top it off- plaid shoes. I asked Mister how I looked, and he said “You can’t wear that. It matches.”

Laughing, I made a mental note to never take fashion advice from that man.

Real Smart

You know how when people are angry and call in they start talking before you are finished saying hello? I received one of those calls.

The caller said: “I want to know why ya’ll done put me in learning support. I know for a fact I am smart. People tell me so all the time.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, even while I recognized how sad this was.